The average man believes he is good in bed and delivers every time but in truth, there are many wives who do not enjoy sXx.
Talking about it is an issue because there’s the societal view that makes it forbidden for a wife to discuss sxx; you are seen as being wayward if you discuss sxxual needs.
Beyond that, how do you discuss sxx with a husband who is not even available for basic conversations? When he talks, it’s either to dismiss your stance or write you off?
I am telling you that sxx is poor and I know it can be better but instead of listening, you are getting defensive because you believe the girlfriends and paid sxx workers you have been with in the past usually get satisfied. For others, the belief is that since marriage is sacred, they as husbands are perfect so a wife unsatisfied must be because she had premarital sxx or having extramarital affairs hence comparing.
But then, you are human and urges are natural.
Understand that you have rights in marriage and one of them is to quality intimacy. You have a right to demand it. However, speaking about it should also come with decorum. If you have a marriage where communication is already an issue, this needs to be sorted first but you have to be firm in stating how you feel and what you believe can be done better.
Many men will get defensive, don’t take it personal, it’s not easy to be told one’s wife is not getting satisfied. You can only ace the conversation when you stay calm and display composure.
Know what you want and be able to describe it clearly. It may be the duration, approach, pace or variety. Describe it confidently.
There’d also be those who may want to play the morality or religious card; do your research upfront to know there’s nothing morally or religiously wrong with what you are requesting. Indeed, even your man may not know this.
Go a step further to understand yourself, your fantasies and desires e.g when, where and how you want to be touched, so that when you demand, it’s accurate. Understand also that you are the authority on your body and pleasures, you are the one that can teach and show your husband how best to deliver.
You are married, there’s no shame in this.
