Marriage is meant to be a union of love, trust, and commitment. But when betrayal creeps in, sometimes separation becomes the only path to peace. Unfortunately, one of the most common issues women face after leaving such marriages is the question of bride price (dowry) refund.
Take for instance the story of a young woman who recently walked away from her marriage after discovering her husband had children outside their union. She left with her child and is doing well by the grace of God, but she feels stuck because of the issue of refunding bride price.
Her family consulted the village elders, only to be told that in their culture, bride price is non-refundable. While some tribes or communities allow repayment, hers does not. This has left her confused and unable to move forward.
So, what should you do if you ever find yourself in this situation?
1. Understand Cultural Practices vs. Personal Peace
Traditionally, some cultures consider bride price non-refundable—once paid, it becomes part of the marriage process and cannot be returned. However, while customs matter, your peace of mind matters more.
If the man insists on a refund, and you personally feel stuck, you can choose to return it yourself—regardless of what the elders say. This helps you close the chapter and avoid future drama.
2. Protect Yourself With Proof
If you decide to refund the dowry, make sure it’s done in a traceable way. Do not hand cash over blindly. Use a bank transfer, preferably into an account your ex-husband personally provides. This way, there’s a clear record that you’ve fulfilled your obligation.
3. Coparenting Is the Next Challenge
Beyond dowry, one reality remains—you share a child together. No matter what, your ex-husband has a legal right to his child. To avoid unnecessary disputes in the future, consult a family lawyer in your country for guidance on custody, visitation, and financial responsibilities.
4. Moving Forward With Strength
Divorce is never easy, especially when cultural traditions are involved. But remember: the most important thing now is your healing, your child’s well-being, and building a future free from bitterness.
If returning the dowry helps you move forward, do it. If your culture forbids it but you still feel stuck, choose the path that brings you peace. At the end of the day, marriage may end, but your life—and your happiness—must continue.
✅ Final Advice:
Don’t let bride price become a stumbling block to your healing. Make a decision, handle it transparently, and begin your journey toward peace and freedom.
