The place of a kiss is often mistaken in general intimacy. To many, it is the first move in a series of moves that end in sxx. To others, well, it is just an additional move without consequence which they may or may not opt for. But a kiss is more than that.
It is a fusing of the mind, body and soul. A connection very physical, yet mental. So, what exactly is going on with many complaining about how it’s being done?
Because we don’t grasp the importance of the kiss in int1macy, we don’t prepare for it or pay attention to details regarding it. That preparation begins with the state of the mouth. What odours emanate from your mouth? A person who kisses you passionately submits to you in that moment, a smelly mouth is going to make you the villain rewarding such passionate commitment with a smelly mouth. Yes, a few people may be able to do a mental block and look beyond this but then don’t they deserve better?
Brushing your mouth is not enough if you are not brushing it right. Direction of brush is key, brushing the tongue is also very important. Beyond brushing, what you eat also contributes to it. If you have just had a meal with garlic for example, you should expect your mouth to smell of garlic. To then try to kiss with this? Not a good idea. Unfortunately, in many marriages, the issue is deeper and of communication. Where this is the case, then it may not even be possible to raise and discuss this issue without leading to a fight.
Next is the lips. You want plump and soft lips that can then go on to deliver a soft textured kiss. The condition of the lips of many is quite poor, being dry and even cracked. Luckily, this can easily be sorted in a short period of time with consistent attention to it in the form of softening agents applied. There is a misconception that care of the lips is for females alone, this needs to be corrected.
Now, to the actual kiss.
No matter the rush of emotions to the head, you have to teach yourself control. Even when the passion is intense, it is still very different from rushing. Rushing gives off different feelings and they are all negative. It could mean you are not in control, you don’t care enough to be gentle, you care but don’t have the technical knowledge, you only care about penetration, or you are not paying attention. Surely, a spouse deserves better.
Now, you have found the right pace, you need to focus on pressure. Don’t crush the lips of your partner, be gentle. This gentleness begins with your own conditioning of your lips. Relax then and let them be at their softest (don’t let them so lax they are just there, almost drooling) find the balance between being soft and maintaining control over them. Don’t try to suck your partner’s lips off and don’t pout, this serves no good purpose.
You are better keeping the teeth off kissing operations if you are not sure of what to do yet. This prevents biting which is a big big kissing turn off.
Your mouth is well lubricated but control over the lubrication is very important and has been the deal breaker for many. There’d definitely be an exchange but don’t overload and drool. Even the thought of of it is enough to make a person never want to kiss you ever again.
Finally, there’s the tongue which is also a source of confusion. Do I keep it in? Do I reach out with it?
This is where you need to pay extra attention. You will have a few chances to ask non verbal questions and get answers. If you try to explore a few times and you don’t get a very receptive welcome, know to keep it in your mouth. If you get a tongue in yours, that may be an invite (don’t assume, pay attention still). Whatever you do, don’t go poking.
Such is the importance of kissing to many that it performs different roles including setting the mood right. Where this is the case, bypassing it often leads to a depreciated experience.
In homes where communication is not an issue then there is hope that the partner on the receiving end of a poor experience would speak up and express it, then following this with stating what is desired. But then, this is not the case we see today. People just keep quiet as one by one, the constituent elements of int1macy fall off.
