Divorce is often portrayed as a battlefield — a space filled with blame, bitterness, and brokenness. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Sometimes, divorce can simply be an agreement between two people who have realized that they function better apart than together, especially when children are involved. It’s not a failure — it’s a conscious choice to shift roles, from partners to co-parents, and perhaps even acquaintances who treat each other with dignity.
Letting Go of What Was, Embracing What Still Is
Hey,
The marriage didn’t work. That’s the truth we both now have to accept. But while the relationship as spouses has ended, it left behind something enduring — our beautiful child(ren). They are the one thing we will always share, and our responsibility to them didn’t end with our marriage vows.
Sure, we could rehash old arguments and talk about what went wrong, but doing that won’t change the past. It already cost us the relationship. What we can do now is focus on preserving the good that remains — the joy of being parents — while we navigate separate paths.
We Don’t Have to Be Friends, But We Don’t Have to Be Enemies Either
We might not be able to share laughter or warm conversations anymore, and that’s okay. But we can still share respect — enough to communicate and collaborate for the sake of the children. Being a good parent is different from being a good spouse. Just because we didn’t thrive in marriage doesn’t mean we can’t succeed in co-parenting.
Let’s agree on this one thing: we won’t use our children as weapons in our disagreements. We won’t tarnish each other in their eyes. They deserve better. They deserve a peaceful upbringing, not a battlefield of emotional crossfire. And honestly, beyond them, let’s do this for the sake of our Creator. For the sake of our own peace.
There was a time we were able to be kind and civil — enough to commit to building a life together. We’ve learned now that it didn’t work. But perhaps we can return to that civility and choose maturity over resentment. This message isn’t easy to write. It challenges pride, stirs up pain, and humbles the ego. But deep down, I believe this is the right thing to do. It’s a call for us to be better humans — even in divorce.
Not Every Story Ends in War
Of course, every divorce is different. This mindset won’t apply to every situation. But if you know, in the quiet of your heart, that responding with grace could bring you peace or even blessings from your Creator — then it’s already worth the effort.
Ego might have played a part in ending the marriage. Don’t let it play a part in your parenting too. Carrying a grudge is heavy. Letting go, even just for the children’s sake, might be the most liberating choice.
The other person might not always meet you halfway. But that’s okay. You do your part. You lead with love, with grace, and with peace — because that’s what your children deserve. And that’s what you deserve too.
