Marriage is one of the most life-altering decisions a person can make—especially for women, who often carry the emotional and practical weight of its consequences. And while love is beautiful, it is not enough to build a stable, lasting partnership.
If you’re considering marriage, here are some truths you need to hold close:
1. Stop Marrying Men Who Can’t Afford Marriage
Poverty is real. If a man truly loves you, he will make an effort to secure the basics—food, shelter, clothing, and a sense of stability. Love without provision leads to unnecessary struggle. Marriage requires more than affection—it requires responsibility. If he isn’t ready to carry that, then he isn’t ready for you.
2. Don’t Marry a Stranger in the Name of “Faith” or “Fate”
Getting to know someone deeply is not unspiritual—it’s wise. Compatibility is more than liking the same music or laughing at the same jokes. It’s about shared values, emotional safety, and aligned visions for life. You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to observe. You are allowed to walk away if you don’t feel at peace.
3. Do Your Own Homework
Don’t rely solely on family members or friends to vet your potential partner. Nobody can look out for you the way youcan. People lie, and unfortunately, friends often protect friends—even when they shouldn’t. Take the time to investigate and discern for yourself.
4. Say No to Students and Unemployed Men Still Living Off Their Families
Some may try to guilt-trip you with, “Marriage is better than Zinah.” But let’s be clear: rushing into a wrong marriage is worse than waiting for the right one. If he cannot provide for himself, he should not be talking about providing for a family. That’s not judgement—it’s common sense.
5. Build Yourself First
Before saying “yes” to someone else, say “yes” to building yourself. Have your own goals. Have your own means. This gives you strength, choices, and dignity. There are too many women today stuck in controlling marriages because they lack the resources to leave. Don’t let that be your story.
6. Marriage is Not a Prison—Don’t Let It Become One
Perseverance is noble, but abuse is not a badge of honor. If the only reason you’re staying is because leaving feels impossible, then it’s time to rethink the system that got you there. Guard yourself early. Know your rights and your worth.
7. Religious Does Not Equal Righteous
Just because someone prays doesn’t mean they have good character. Many people hide behind the mask of religion. Don’t be fooled by appearances—character is revealed in how people treat others, not how often they go to the mosque or church.
8. Educate Yourself—Spiritually and Otherwise
Ignorance is expensive. The more you know—about your faith, your rights, and your options—the harder it is for anyone to mislead or manipulate you. Invest in your personal growth. Learn continuously. Knowledge gives you freedom.
Final Word: Prepare, Don’t Just Dream
Marriage isn’t slavery, and it’s not an escape plan. It should be a partnership, not a sentence. Many women who push others into marriage too quickly are hiding their own regrets. You don’t have to follow that path.
You’re an adult. You owe it to yourself to protect your future, your peace, and your power.
