Many people in our generation were raised hearing the same words: “Just go ahead and get married. Everything will work out fine.” But now that many of us have taken that step, we’re realizing something important—everything is not fine.
Today, so many young couples are struggling—not because they don’t love the idea of marriage, but because they were pushed into it for the wrong reasons.
Some got married because of pressure from family members who didn’t want to face shame or gossip. Others tied the knot because friends were excited about weddings, parties, and wearing nice clothes—not about the actual marriage that would follow. And then, there were those who didn’t even know why—they just went along with it because “it was time.”
We were told things like, “Don’t worry, attraction will grow later,” or “As long as the person has a good character and shares your religion, everything else will fall into place.” But years into the marriage, many husbands and wives are quietly—or loudly—walking away. Why? Because that attraction never came. The emotional connection never built up. And the small issues that were ignored at the beginning have grown into serious cracks.
Now, people wonder: “How can someone leave after 5, 10, or even 15 years of marriage claiming they were never truly attracted to their partner?” It’s not a mystery. Often, they did speak up about it in the early days, but were told their concerns didn’t matter. They were told to “push through,” and that everything would be fine—as if love and connection can simply be forced.
Sadly, we see the effects in many homes today. Silent suffering. Emotional distance. People who feel stuck in marriages that were never truly theirs to begin with.
So here’s an important truth: If you are planning to get married, do it for the right reasons—your own reasons.
Don’t let the pressure from family, society, or even friends rush you into something you are not sure about. Marriage is not a race. It’s not a prize. It is a lifelong journey, and if you’re going to walk that road with someone, you should be sure that they are someone you truly want to be with.
Take the time to know what’s important to you. What are your values? What kind of partner do you really want? What kind of marriage are you hoping to build? Attraction, emotional compatibility, shared goals, lifestyle expectations—these are not small things. They deserve your full attention before you say “I do.”
Before getting married, invest in yourself and the process. Go for premarital counseling. Ask real, honest questions. Spend time with the person you’re considering. Listen to your heart. Don’t just pray because people tell you to—pray because you genuinely want to make the right choice.
Marriage is not something to be entered lightly. It’s not about pleasing your parents or hosting a big wedding. It’s about building a life with someone who will stand by your side in love, in hardship, in growth, and in change.
So take your time. Choose wisely. And above all, choose for you.
Because when the music fades and the guests go home, you’re the one who has to live in that marriage. Make sure it’s a life you truly want to live.
