There’s nothing wrong with preaching patience especially in marriage but a lot of times, what we ask of people is not patience, what we ask of them is to take whatever comes without reacting, which is unfair and manipulative.
It is there in the never ending “yi hakuri” from parents who don’t do anything else to correct the poor treatments. There, in the “se suuru” that only seems to be told to one side or the “nwee ndidi” that’s there to keep you entrapped in abuse so that certain benefits can keep flowing or so that you don’t “bring shame to the family”.
This approach is only going to ensure we keep having mentally stressed people living unhappy, unfulfilled and without peace.
Tell a person to be patient, but at least let it be over a case you can be objective and fair over. Let it be over a case you are able to be fair to both sides.
Don’t contribute in a pending emotional explosion of hatred in that home. Issues are better resolved when the mediator can be fair, objective and informed enough on the issue not just telling one person to be patient without addressing the actions of the other adequately.
