Extramarital affairs have been around as long as marriage but what’s more of a trend today is the affair being between one married man and another married woman.
Yes, many of these cases are avoidable but a large number of them tell us something about the state of our values, orientation and limits as a society especially on marriage.
If we had more people paying attention to their homes and spouses, it would help reduce the number of cases.
If we had more people learning about marriage before going into it, we’d have more people with marriages they are able to handle better.
Why a married person though?
Well, more times than not, you have someone who is going through similar in their own marriage and can connect and relate to your hurt, need and cravings.
Beyond that, a married person, like you, is more likely to be more careful in keeping it quiet, making it more secure. You both have marriages elsewhere meaning both understand by default it’s not going to be something serious.
You hang out, connect, have wild sex, even support one another physical and emotionally then go back home.
The plan is always to keep it that way, except well, emotions have a way of developing.
Suddenly you find yourself needing more and more of the other. More time, more attention, more emotions and suddenly what used to be enough is no longer enough, entitlement mentality creeps in, jealousy follows bringing with it anger you cannot even admit to having. You’d be jealous and angry that you cannot even admit that you are jealous.
Suddenly, what used to be a ‘safe place’ is no longer that, and the person you thought of as mature suddenly cannot do anything right.
The fights will follow but you are already in too deep. Now you risk slip ups that can destroy what’s left of the marriage, in addition to being extra pissed at your spouse for how they contributed to you straying.
Whatever stage of this you are at, you’re not the first and yes, it is complicated.
You need help creating a distance while you fix yourself and maybe your marriage. It’s it easy but it is doable. If this is you or a version of you, send me a message inbox to get started.
Hopefully, it’s not too late.
