As a younger husband, a friend called me to the side one day telling me how it felt like I was too harsh a husband.
It shocked me, I mean this is me! Mr.Romantic and all. I felt attacked and it was easier to say he didn’t understand but in truth, he did understand.
Later, I called my wife and asked if she felt this way but then quickly realised if she really did, it may be difficult for her to say the truth out of fear so I began by explaining what had happened with my friend and how I was trying to know her truth so I could get better.
She opened up and it was very revealing to me. Even though it wasn’t as painted by my friend, she really did point areas I could do better.
I took it in and became deliberate about it and things got better.
Many men go into marriage not knowing about what it truly means and given the things society shows us, we imagine it means to become a tyrant whose only voice has to be heard, who calls all the shots, who cannot be challenged. We think we are the only ones that can be right and even when we are not right, don’t need to apologise.
This is how many good men with good intentions become bad husbands.
A husband is a position of leadership that needs you to be able to teach good by example, empower and grow your spouse and children, inspire positive values and exciting energy. It is a position that makes leaders of everyone involved, hearing everyone and making their opinions count.
Unfortunately, we don’t teach this, we just expect men to go on and be good husbands.
How can such a husband be a good leader?
How can such a marriage make it?
This, more than anything, stresses the need for premarital counselling.
