I once asked a simple question:
“How do you feel when you hear this — ‘No good man just wakes up and acts unfavourably towards his wife; she must have done something to trigger him.’”
Almost every woman I asked reacted negatively. Some were even ready to fight me.
Yet, what’s interesting is that this same statement — in reverse — gets thrown around almost every time a man complains about something his wife does wrong.
It’s one of those quiet double standards that work against men in our society.
When a woman acts out, we are quick to find the emotional reason, the pain behind her actions, the stress she must be under. But when a man expresses hurt, anger, or distance, the common response is “He’s changed” or “He must be cheating.”
We rarely pause to ask what he might be going through — emotionally, mentally, or even spiritually.
This isn’t about justifying bad behaviour on either side. It’s about balance and fairness.
A good man doesn’t become distant for no reason. A good woman doesn’t become cold without cause. In every relationship, both parties are capable of both hurt and healing.
Maybe if we listened with the same empathy we demand, we’d understand that accountability is not gendered — it’s human.
Conclusion:
Relationships thrive when both sides are seen, heard, and understood. It’s time we stop excusing one gender while condemning the other. Every action has a reason — and every person deserves to be treated with the same fairness we expect.
