In many societies, marriage is held in the highest regard — so much so that leaving it, even when it becomes damaging, feels almost unthinkable. The pressure to stay often outweighs the quiet suffering inside, leading many to endure painful, toxic environments while trying to raise children in homes filled with bitterness and tension.
Marriage is meant to nurture, support, and help you grow. If yours is doing the opposite, seeking help is essential. Sometimes, even after every effort to mend the relationship, the healthiest choice remains the hardest one — leaving. But walking away is never as simple as it sounds.
You might look back and wonder, How did I end up here? The reality is that several factors make people vulnerable in marriage, and one of the most powerful is financial dependence. Even when faced with emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, the fear of losing basic necessities like food and shelter keeps many trapped. Often, well-meaning friends offer only words of comfort, but words don’t pay bills or create escape plans.
Another layer of complexity comes with having children. The instinct to provide them with stability can sometimes make you tolerate instability. But the truth is, children thrive best in environments of peace, not in homes filled with silent resentment or loud anger.
In abusive marriages, control is often at the heart of everything. A controlling spouse may isolate you from loved ones, discourage or forbid you from working, and chip away at your independence. They may cloak their behavior under the guise of culture, religion, or tradition, making you feel guilty for wanting something better.
If you find yourself in such a situation, building your capacity is key — emotionally, financially, mentally. Even if you’re deep in it now, it’s never too late to start taking small steps toward reclaiming your life. You have rights in marriage: the right to express yourself, the right to grow, the right to be seen and heard with respect.
Maybe you can’t afford therapy yet. Maybe you’ve been isolated from family and friends. Still, the first and most important step begins with you acknowledging the truth — something is wrong, and it’s not your fault.
Don’t wait until it’s too late. If you recognize yourself in these words, know that you deserve better. A good marriage is never abusive.
If you need support or just a place to start, reach out. You’re not alone.
