Being in a marriage with a narcissist can be draining and have a depleting effect on your own mental health but ours is a society where marriage is massive so it’s often the need to strike a balance between keeping one’s home and staying peacefully grounded.
A narcissist will often exhibit a bloated sense of importance and the need to make everything about them in the marriage. You are almost never right and will constantly be battered. There is very little genuine concern for your emotions and growth. More times than not, you will feel neglected, lonely and unimportant.
Understand first that you are not going to cure this disorder, at best you will only make things better. Understand that this will need a lot of strength from you so before you begin, you want to be very sure this is something you want to do and can do.
After you have made this decision;
– Work on your own self esteem: You will be talked down a lot, it is important for you to be well grounded if you are going to stay on.
– Understand your system: Know what triggers fights and misunderstandings so that you can be deliberate about avoiding them.
– Raise your communication skills. With a narcissist, it’s easy for things to heat up so ensure your words will not become what’s used against you. Pay attention because a lot of gaslighting will be attempted. Pay attention to details, document what you can, work with facts only.
– Set boundaries: Define what you will take and what you will not then communicate as needed. A narcissist may get angry but stay calm but firm on what you will take and what you won’t.
– Be cautiously critical: When you need to address an issue, begin with something positive they do, then talk about your concerns, then end with something positive again.
– Have a support system beyond him: Narcissists may not see or acknowledge your good side. You need a support system that can be of a positive vibe towards you.
– Get counseling/therapy: While he may refuse it and even if he did, cannot be cured, the idea is for you to learn how to handle issues better by learning tools such as effective nuptial communication.
But FIRST, ask yourself if you want to be in such a marriage
